Nothing in particular to write about....just feeling it today. I just miss my daughter. I want to be able to hold her again. I want to look into her eyes.
I am about a week away (in my current pregnancy) from the time frame we lost Viviana....31 1/2 weeks. Even though Knuckles continues to kick and roll around, it is so hard to trust in the future. And, I miss my daughter.
What is so hard to wrap my head around is if Viviana was here, Knuckles would not be. I know I should not be trying to work that all out in my head...but it is there. And no matter what, I miss my daughter, and no matter what, I love Knuckles and can't wait to meet him/her...I love both my babies and both of them are my children. How can I already have 2 children???? And I have never even changed a diaper?????
Isn't it a sad and strange thought to be a mommy to 2 babies and yet not know how to change a diaper or the feel of nursing? I hope the future is a gentle one for you, bringing knuckles safely into your arms.
ReplyDeleteThe conflicting emotions must be so confusing. As you said, nothing to work out, but just feel. You can love both your babies fully, with all the complicated emotions that are part of your experience.
You are beautiful as a pregnant mama by the way!